Twister
by Rogue12158
Summary: Quote: "Alright, Edward. Right hand, my ass."


Rogue

Hello, beautiful people!!

If I owned Twilight, _Barbie Girl_ would play every time Emmett made an entrance.

-:-:-:-

Sometimes, Alice could be annoying. Sometimes, she could be funny. Most times, she's pure evil. The rest of the times, she was a genius.

-:-:-:-

One morning when I woke up without Edward—he was on a hunting trip with Emmett and Jasper for a few days—I saw this rectangular box at the foot of my bed.

The package was wrapped in brown paper with plain white string. The package's defining feature was a rather large pink card on top. A card like that could only mean one thing: Alice.

I reached for it, groaning as I did, knowing she had probably bought me something costly and unnecessary... again. But as I opened it, the only reaction I had was the utter confusion.

Twister?

Why on Earth would she get me, a girl who should be placed in a room covered in bubble wrap to ensure her own safety and the safety of others, the game Twister?

This was just a trip to the E.R. waiting to happen.

I decided to read the card that came with it, hoping to understand the method behind this madness.

"Dear Bella," it read.

_I'm sure you think I'm bat-crazy at the moment, but I assure you, I'm no more crazy then your next psychic. Don't ask me how I found this because you won't want to know. Your poor little virgin ears won't be able to handle it. Just trust me and open the game! After all, I'm Alice!!_

_Love ya!_

That note didn't help at all, just made me a little worried. And, against my better judgment, I lifted the lid of the game.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, could have stopped the intense blush that had spread across my face. I'm sure it even went all the way to my ears.

The box contained the game Twister, alright. The mat was the same, too. The spinner, however, was a different story.

The difference of the spinners that I was familiar with and the one in my hand was like the difference between touch football and full-contact football. Emphasis on the _touch_ and _full-contact_ parts.

The spinner in my hands should probably be 'X' rated.

And I knew now that Alice was right in saying that my poor virgin ears would not be able to handle the story behind this... er... particular object.

-:-:-:-

Alice dropped by the next morning.

"So," she said, walking through my front door after my Dad left for the station. "How do you like my present?"

"Depends, it by face still similar to a tomato?" I asked her, more or less sarcastically. I hadn't checked to see if my face went back to it's normal color last night before I went to sleep.

"Only a little. Nothing all that noticeable." She smiled brilliantly.

"You do know that Edward will personally murder you if he ever finds out about this, right?"

"Naturally. And what do you mean _if_?"

"I thought you would've known me well enough by now to know that I wouldn't even consider showing that to him."

"Why not?" Alice whined.

"You remember how adamant he is about waiting for the wedding."

"My brother needs to flick that proverbial Jiminy Cricket off his shoulder before the two of you combust from the sexual tension." She growled. And after that, I think she might have muttered something along the lines of, _"Damn him and his morals," _but I can't be sure.

"At least then he'd have to change me," I mumbled to myself, but Alice with her perfect hearing heard me anyways.

"Aw, Bella, it's gonna happen. Don't worry so much. We don't want you to have worry lines for the rest of eternity, now do we?"

"Gee, Alice, thanks for the pep talk. I feel so loved."

"Anytime."

It was about two make-overs and six wardrobe changes before Alice left, leaving me with the uncontrollable desire to see if this version of Twister will work where me just ripping off my clothes failed. I had my doubts—after all, this isn't my first encounter with 'Alice-improved' objects—but there are just somethings you have to try. And then there are things that you are threatened to do by the demon pixie that is Alice. This time, we should go with the latter.

-:-:-:-

Edward came home the following day, his eyes returned to the breathtakingly beautiful butterscotch eyes that I had fallen in love with.

We spent nearly the entire day just sitting on my bed, in the other's arms. I loved times like these, but the thought of the box under my bed was always looming over my head.

I could practically hear it calling me.

_Bella..._ It would say. _Play me Bella. You either do it or have to go with Alice to a week long shopping extravaganza. What's the worst that could happened? Edward feels you up a little? Or is that the best thing that could happen? _

Dang that game has a dirty mind!

And, of course, Edward, not a second later, asked me what I wanted to do that night.

Week long shopping extravaganza—informally known as pain and agony for all involved—or possible mortification.

Pain and agony? I'm sure that I've felt worse, but not for a week straight...

Mortification? Something I experience on a daily basis. Who wouldn't when they fall as much as I do?

"Yeah, let's play Twister."

-:-:-:-

Edward looked at me kind of funny, but then shrugged, a sign of agreement to my request.

I told him to meet me downstairs while I grabbed the game. He kissed the of my head and complied.

As I pulled Twister: The Alice Cullen version—as I liked to refer to it in my own head—the intense reappeared on my face.

I took a few calming breaths before going downstairs myself.

Edward was waiting for me, sitting on the couch in my living room. He had already moved the coffee table out of the way.

He offered to help, which he always does, so I gave him the task of spreading the mat.

After that was done, I said, " Why don't you go first," to Edward. He shrugged and I flicked the spinner.

Thankfully, it landed somewhere less... dirty.

"Left hand, green." He moved to the appropriate position..

I stood and flicked the spinner for myself.

After I saw what I got, I immediately knew that someone _up there_ liked me.

"I got: left hand, red."

I used my right hand to flick the spinner again, seeing as I was closest.

And that's where my good luck ran out.

"Alright, Edward. Your next move is: right hand, my ass."

He stood up straight and rigid within a second. After a few more, he said, "Bella, be serious."

"Do you know how impossible it is to be serious when you're playing a game designed for seven-year-olds?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Bella."

"I _am_ being serious, Edward. Take a look." I handed him the spinner, making sure the needle remained at the place it landed on previously.

Edward took one glance at it and had the same expression I had when I first saw it. Minus the blush that made my ears red.

"Where did you get something like this?" He voice held shock. He knew that I had temporarily given up my attempts to get him to sleep with me.

"I was told that my poor virgin ears couldn't handle the full story."

"Alice, huh?"

"How'd you guess?" I remarked.

"What did she threaten you with this time?" He knew his sister all too well.

"A week-long, shopping extravaganza." I shuddered.

Edward flinched on my behalf. Edward, himself, wouldn't mind taking me somewhere and showering me with gifts.

"Thanks for the support."

"Anytime."

He then took the box from the ground and the spinner in his hand and wrapped them both up in the mat.

"How 'bout we put this in the _Alice's failed attempts_ bin and forget this ever happened?" He offered.

"Works for me," I agreed.

As he brought his make-shift sack to my basement, I couldn't help but think that it was times like these that made me wish that this wedding—that I personally think is unnecessary—couldn't come fast enough.

-:-:-:-

End

-:-:-:-

Hello again, potential reviewers!!

This is my happy Thanksgiving present!! I typed this up for a friend of mine who is suffering through _tofurkey_ -shudder- right now—even though she insists she enjoys it—who needs support now more than ever... :)

PLEASE REVIEW!!

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!


End file.
